Owner hired a barkeep to spell ‘im through the day
Guy who’s fresh from eastern town says, “What about affray?”
I whack ‘em with my ball bat, it tends to calm ‘em down
All except this guy, Big John, who sometimes comes to town
If you ever hear he’s commin’ just lock the door n’ hide
And hope that he ain’t thirsty so right on by he’ll ride
All mornin’ things was quiet an’ the few warn’t misbehavin’
But in the early afternoon a guy stormed in a-ravin’
He rode in on Brahma bull, had a rattler for his whip
Oh my God! the barkeep thought, this guy wants more than nip
Tossed his rattler in the corner, smashed his hamfist on the bar
Whiskey! Roared this giant man. You could hear him from afar
Whiskey! Roared a second time and snatched the offered bottle
Bit the neck and spit it out, drained it past his wattle
All the boys done run an’ hid. Th’ barkeep stood alone
He set ‘im up a second time and prayed his sins atone
Well, thankee pard, but ain’t got time. I’m gonna do some runnin’
I think it’s time vamoose these parts, I hear Big John’s a’commin’
(c) 2018