Big John by Ken Clanton

Owner hired a barkeep to spell ‘im through the day

Guy who’s fresh from eastern town says, “What about affray?”

I whack ‘em with my ball bat, it tends to calm ‘em down

All except this guy, Big John, who sometimes comes to town


If you ever hear he’s commin’ just lock the door n’ hide

And hope that he ain’t thirsty so right on by he’ll ride

All mornin’ things was quiet an’ the few warn’t misbehavin’

But in the early afternoon a guy stormed in a-ravin’


He rode in on Brahma bull, had a rattler for his whip

Oh my God! the barkeep thought, this guy wants more than nip

Tossed his rattler in the corner, smashed his hamfist on the bar

Whiskey! Roared this giant man. You could hear him from afar


Whiskey! Roared a second time and snatched the offered bottle

Bit the neck and spit it out, drained it past his wattle

All the boys done run an’ hid. Th’ barkeep stood alone

He set ‘im up a second time and prayed his sins atone


Well, thankee pard, but ain’t got time. I’m gonna do some runnin’

I think it’s time vamoose these parts, I hear Big John’s a’commin’






 (c) 2018